Michael Phelps-just a NORML guy

4 02 2009

Phelps, your friends are weak dude.  Whomever sold you out for a few thousand bucks to a rag mag is no real friend. You have just learned the hard way that drugs and cameras don’t mix.  You have to assume that everyone with a phone is a photographer and that there are hidden security cameras in every corner, waiting to knock you off the highest pedestal in the athletic world.  I am taking a chance with my own reputation even commenting on the situation, but I speak for those who are not offended by your latest screw up.  As terrible as this is going to be for you over the next few weeks (think sponsor money gone) you might have said more in that one picture than the thousand words you stumbled all over on your SNL appearance.  Proof that recreational smokers are not all unemployed bums living in their mother’s basement.   All the public service announcements about pot smokers never becoming successful have been debunked.  The new poster boy for recreational smokers everywhere is the most successful Olympic athlete EVER.  Zig-Zag is on line one.

For those of us who pay attention, we can spot a smoker on another continent.  The big indicator for myself was the media constantly saying:  “He listens to a rapper they call Little Wayne on his Ipod right up to the minute he gets ready to swim”.  Um, yea.  Stoner.  That Weezy album, The Carter III contains Wayne’s ten minute tirade about the decriminalization of marijuana laws.  In fact, Wayne is so stoned on that album the pro-toke overtone becomes monotonous by the end of the CD.  This seemed to fly right over the heads of every Olympic pundit for two weeks, but you have officially ended any speculation.  Square white people have never really understood their children.  They try, but they are so disconnected by the generation gap that the best they can come up with is “he must have had a momentary lapse in reasoning”.  I’ll say.  Before you hold a press conference and issue your second mea culpa think about what you really want to say.  Do you follow the script to satisfy the sponsors, or do you get real and tell the world to chill out?  I’m going to assume you’ll have to speak out against the evils of the herb and make a huge donation to DARE along with many hours of community outreach to youths with drug problems.  At least you get to keep the medals.  I know you’ve been underwater for the past several years but you have got to be careful, the DUI a few years ago brought enough negative attention to your alter boy status.  Enjoy your time in the off season but you should be uber-paranoid about whom you chill with, remember almost anyone has a price.

So the real question is: Is this a defeat for Phelps and his straight edge sponsers, or the gold medal for recreational marijuana smokers worldwide?